our story

In January of 2008 my husband and I were separated. Circumstances had taken us geographically apart which in turn strained on the emotional and physical attributes of our marriage. As I watched our marriage slip away I felt helpless, as if there was nothing I could do… The damage had been done.  A friend of mine had invited me to try out her church several times, and finally in an attempt to say I had tried everything I decided to go.

I can still remember the feeling of walking into church that Sunday, I felt like everyone was staring at me. As if the pain I was going through was more than evident to everyone there. As I sat there… clinging to my daughter and hearing the message I began to really listen to what the pastor had to say. His words were like a defibrillator shocking a cold lifeless heart. I sat there bawling, searching for a box of tissues so no one could see how much of a mess I was… hoping to hide the disaster of myself. I walked away from that Sunday forever different. I thought I believed before, but something just felt so different inside this time.

I remember leaving that Sunday knowing that it was time for me to be responsible for MYSELF. I cannot change what others do, I can only be responsible for my thoughts, my actions before God. A few weeks went by and I invited my husband to come join me in church… but, He didn’t show. I really began to feel that anger boiling up inside of me. WHY? Why was this happening to me? I was changing, I was trying to make this work and despite all that work… it wasn’t working. So I made a decision to let go. I decided I would ask one more time for him to come, but by this time I had realized all the other times were more demands verses a request. Well, apparently the softening of my heart made it appealing to him and he came.

That Sunday, something changed. I can’t tell you what it was as it didn’t happen in my heart – it happened in his. But I believe it was something along the lines of a shocking to a cold lifeless heart. From that Sunday forward we were no longer pulling away from each other, we were walking towards God… as we have gotten closer to God, we have become closer to each other.

Justin and I are now working towards our 9th year wedding anniversary, it is by the power of our amazing graceful God that our marriage was saved. And it is by His example of epic love that we learn to love each other more and more each day.

This is such a small portion of the past 3 1/2 years that I have been walking with Christ, but this is the strong foundation of my faith. It is my damascus road experience that changed my life. Without it, I would not be where I am today.

Today I am a stay at home mom of 3 beautiful children, Kylie (7) Katie (4) and Jared (3). I am a woman with a strong desire to grow deep in my faith, to use my life as a window of opportunity to shine Christ’s light on the world. I pray through this blog God is able to speak through me and touch the lives of many.

My love to all,

Rachel

PS: The image above is from my sweet photographer friend Jessica Deane.